And I mean BAD.
So bad in fact that I almost knocked someone over on the tube without any remorse.
“Excuse me, do you realize you are actually breathing all over my face? Move!!”
My feeling bad got even worse when a friend told me to calm down, “because being angry would make me ill.”
That’s it, I thought.
If even just one more person tells me to calm down, this is definitely the time when I’ll have Alcatraz reinstated as a prison, just for me and no visitors will be allowed!!!
I was angry.
And I intended to stay so.
If you asked me what I was angry about, I would give you an endless list of very valid reasons.
Valid and pointless.
I could tell you how people can be so very rude at times, how right now life just feels like a marathon and we are all struggling to catch our breath as we run & run while the finish line appears to be so far.
I could tell you how this is all part of a master plan, and we are all meant to go a bit bonkers while we shed our old skin and we create a new way to be.
The reason for my anger was a legitimate one and I just wanted the whole world to hear me out.
Shame the whole world seems to be as angry as I am at the moment.
Therefore my precious endless list of valid reasons for being angry, soon appeared to be pointless because I just could not justify myself feeling this way at a time when everybody else is struggling too.
When did we start apologizing for how we feel, instead of acknowledging the message our not so comfortable emotions are trying to deliver to our soul?
We live in a society where anger has always been frowned upon and avoided, almost feared. We often go through life trying to repress our raw feelings because they make us feel exposed and vulnerable. Because we have been taught that we are bad if we feel in a certain way, and we cannot handle being bad. We constantly need to feel good and accepted.
Facing our demons we must if we want to break free from those constricting patterns, standing in our way to harmony and wholeness.
Whenever we attempt to feel angry, we will usually have others around counselling us against the projection of anger.
Truth is, not everybody is emotionally equipped to handle an angry person, so they’d rather deal with a repressed person for that frustration is usually turned inward, while anger is often moving outwardly toward whoever is nearby.
Have you ever been in a state of depression or fear and suddenly felt an urge of anger?
Provided you didn’t pay attention to your own self-critic telling you how inappropriate anger is, you probably felt relief from the oppression of feeling down or fearful.
By feeling angry about the causes of your limiting circumstances, you have been able to feel enough relief to move away from what was keeping you down and enough energy to move towards a more uplifting emotion.
However, because you are a vibrational being, it’s rather hard to jump from the vibration frequencies that keep you in a sorrow state straight to the one of love and empowerment.
You need to “vibrate your way up” from a very low emotion to a higher one.
That’s when emotions like anger become powerful enough to allow radical changes in otherwise very stagnant circumstances.
It can become the fuel your soul needs to break away through worrying, doubts, disappointment and frustration, to then be able to reach for its natural state of joy, grace and harmony.
Next time you are aware of anger being close by, how about you decided to observe it rather than dismiss it?
Could you acknowledge that you are feeling angry and this is just a way to come out of a passive emotion, ie depression or sadness? Could you acknowledge that the thought of anger feels better than the one it replaced?
Could you then reach for an emotion that is not too far off from your actual vibrational frequencies but which still gives you comfort and feels better? Surely, in vibrational terms, you will not be able to jump from feeling like The Incredible Hulk to a 3 week old kitten within seconds.
The trick is to allow yourself to glide through different emotions ‘till you heart is happy again, by making the best of of whatever feeling you have access to in that moment.
This is crucial, for when you consciously choose to let anger bring you relief, you can also consciously move to a less resistant feeling such us frustration until you become connected with the joy and ease you really are.
So next time you experience anger, don’t be afraid to let it come up and also to move through frustration, impatience and even pessimism until you’ll suddenly feel light-hearted again.
And if anyone attempts to talk you out of your “5 angry minutes” explain that you are in the process of finding your way back to laughter and have consciously chosen anger as a quick break free feeling.
When did you last get angry? Were you able to easily move onto a better-felling emotion? Share stories about your “5 angry minutes” which led you to a greater understanding of yourself and allowed you to find humor even in the not so nice feelings.
To find out more on how to move through our Emotional Guiding Scale please contact me on http://www.antonialyons.com or htpp//:facebook.com/antonialyonscoach